Classic dad jokes? Welcome.
We have a list of the best and coolest dad jokes and puns that you can use with your family that are fun.
They are unique and short for you to send over text t any time.
Looking forward to hilarious dad jokes? Let’s dive in.
Funniest Dad Jokes
1. Have you talked to the calendar?
I am afraid its days are numbered.
2. I am familiar with all the 25 letters in the alphabet.
I don’t know Y.
3. When do jokes become dad jokes?
When they become apparent.
4. What is faster between hot and cold?
Hot, because you catch a cold.
5. What do we call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
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6. I talk to myself sometimes when I need an expert’s advice.
Am I not an expert?
7. Dear math, we urge you to grow up for once and solve your own problems.
8. What musical instrument can we find in the washroom?
Tuba toothpaste.
9. Should I quit Algebra classes?
I already found my X.
10. What do we call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory.
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11. Why did the lady walk around with the bikini only?
She was hot.
12. Why does the sun think he is more learned in the solar system?
He has many degrees.
13. What does one ocean say to the other when they meet?
Nothing. They just wave.
14. What melody do we get from our galaxy?
Nep-tunes.
15. Why did the sun think he is more good-looking, unlike stars?
Because the sun is hot.
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16. Why do other planets warm up to Saturn’s romance?
It has many beautiful rings.
17. What is unique about rich clouds?
They make it rain.
18. How do we confirm the sex of a chromosome?
We pull down its genes.
19. How do scientists feel when Oxygen and Potassium hang out?
OK.
20. What do we get from an excessively pampered cow?
Spoilt milk.
21. Where do baby cats swim?
In the kitty pool.
22. What is the most tech-savvy animal? Spiders.
They have their web.
23. How does a leopard change its spot?
By moving from one spot to another.
24. What do bears without “b” become?
Ears.
25. Can a giraffe jump higher than the Burj?
Yes because the Burj is a building and buildings don’t jump.
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26. Why are snails bad at speed?
They are slug-gish.
27. What are the computer’s favorite snacks?
Microchips.
28. What do you chimpanzees with shared amazon prime accounts?
Prime-mates.
29. What do we call a grandma’s number on speed dial?
Instagram.
30. What do we call when a laptop is given a vaccine jab?
A screenshot.
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31. Why are elevator dad jokes so good?
They always work on so many levels.
32. I broke the tip of my pencil.
It is pointless now.
33. I rarely trust stairs.
They are always up to something.
34. I dreamt I was weightless. When I woke up, I was like, “0mg!”
35. Dad said I focus on lunges if I want to stay fit.
That is a big step forward for me.
36. 06:30 is my favorite time of the day hands down.
37. I felt like eating a clock for lunch but it was time-consuming!
38. I run dating and matchmaking services for chickens for a living in the past and I struggled to make hens meet.
39. A magician was walking down a busy street then suddenly turned into a store!
40. Why is grass believed to be dangerous?
Because it has blades.
41. What do we call a faked noodle?
An impasta.
42. How do big names celebrities stay cool?
By having many fans.
43. The girls are spreading rumors about butter.
44. Son: I will call you later.
Dad: Don’t call me later. Call me dad.
45. When do we visit a dentist?
At tooth hurt-y.
46. Why was the husky dog named Rolex?
Because he was a watchdog.
47. How do you organize a space party for astronauts?
You planet.
48. What eggs do evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
49. Why are skeletons so calm and composed?
They have nothing under their skins.
50. Why did the computer keep playing Hello from the other side?
Because it was a Dell.
51. Have you heard of the kidnapping at school?
He woke up in the end.
52. Why did the lady fall into the well?
She couldn’t see that well.
53. What did the wall say to the other?
Let’s meet at the corner.
54. What did zero say to 8?
A nice belt you have.
55. Why is the number 7 different from 9?
Because 7 eight 9.
56. Where do pears go for their vacation?
Pear-is.
57. What is unique about Switzerland?
Nothing really but perhaps their flag is a big plus.
58. I asked my dad what two minus two is and he said nothing!
59. Where can one learn to make a banana split?
At the Sundae school.
60. The news came out of purple that I am colorblind.
61. Is a barbecue a line of men waiting for a haircut?
62. What do you call when a group of chimps starts a business?
Monkey business.
63. What did Tennessee do?
Saw nothing.
64. I hated facial hair then it grew on me!
65. What does a sprinter eat before racing?
Nothing, they fast!
66. I don’t trust the guys seated under a mango tree over there.
They are kinda shady.
67. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
68. Why was Jane fired in a banana processing factory?
She kept throwing away the curved ones.
69. Daughter: Dad, can you put my shoes on?
Dad: No, I don’t think they’ll fit!
70. It is raining cats and dogs; be careful to step on a puppy.
71. My kid is refusing to nap. He feels guilty about resting a rest.
72. I had a hard time remembering something at night, then it dawned on me.
73. I love telling dad jokes and I laugh at them sometimes.
74. What does a computer’s software child call their father?
Data.
75. Which days of the week are the strongest?
Saturday and Sundays. The rest are weekdays.
Awesome dad jokes.
