Nothing pairs well with wine than good friends and laughter.
Be it red wine, rose, or champagne, how good the wine flows is often reflected in the quality of conversation you have and the fun that comes from it.
Part of that fun is wine jokes.
Sharing well-crafted wine jokes with friends is fun and an excellent way to prop your conversation with close friends.
A List of the Best Wine Jokes
1. How do professors like their wine?
Well red.
2. When bored, I sometimes write “drink wine” in my to-do list.
It makes me feel I have accomplished something for the day.
3. What did the Vineyard owner say to his wife?
“You are wine in a million, my love.”
4. “I love you.”
“Is that you or the wine talking?”
“It is me. Talking to the wine.”
5. What does the old saying go?
Grape minds think alike.
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6. What did the people at the wine tasting party say?
“Sip, sip, hooray!”
7. What did the girl say when she finally met the prince charming?
“You must be the wine I have been looking for all my life.”
8. What did the girls at the beach say to the young man?
We are here to sip and un-wine.
9. What is the best wine-tasting party slogan?
No wine should be left behind.
10. Charlie was asked what happened that he ended up in a fight and his response was, “sip happens sometimes.”
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11. What is the best relationship advice?
Love the wine you are with.
12. What do you do to stay in shape?
I do a lot of yoga. Just kidding. I do a lot of wine in my yoga pants.
13. How about we be partners in wine?
It will be fun.
14. The motivational speaker said if you want a happy life, wine a little, smile a lot.
15. What did the wine seller say to the mechanic?
“The best tool is the wine you have at hand.”
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16. What is the best advice to a sad person?
Everything under the sun happens for a riesling.
17. At the dinner table, the host asked, “Another glass?”
We all responded, “Wine not?”
18. What did the boyfriend tell her?
You are the wine I want.
19. What did the bar owner say late into the night?
“Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to wine down.”
20. What did she murmur to her boyfriend, “Red my lips. We need more wine.”
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21. We can meet at wine o’clock at the joint behind the old train station.
22. What happened in 1930 that wine became scarce?
It was the grape depression.
23. A famous Vinyard owner once said, where there is a will there is a rose.
24. How much does the job pay?
Wine dollar an hour.
25. What music played at her pre-wedding?
Wine and Kotch.
26. Winery should put more wine in wine bottles so that there is enough for two.
27. A vacation is a wine-derful idea to un-wine and to connect with yourself.
28. What did he say at the dinner table?
Let’s drink some wine. It is not a good idea to keep things bottled up.
29. What did the sage say?
So I hear you like red wine too. Surely, grape minds think alike.
30. Bartender, “how old are you?” and she replied, “18.” “Poor you! I mean can I pour you a glass of wine?”
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31. A girl said to her boyfriend after a wonderful date, “I would love to re-wine this day soon if that is f-wine by you.”
32. Why does he look so strange?
Someone did cask a spell on him.
33. What did she tell her mother after a few sips of wine?
“Sorry mom, alcohol you later.”
34. Winemaker to his wife, “I knew we were fermented to be together the day I met you.”
35. Why did his wife explode in front of everyone?
She had all emotions bottled up inside her for a long time.
36. “Don’t ask why I love red wine this much. I have my rieslings,” said the gentleman holding a glass of wine.
37. What did the coach say to the athletes?
Some of you will wine and some will lose.
38. What job does his father do?
He is a wine cellar.
39. What did the comedian say?
I like my wine dry and humor sweet.
40. What did the tipsy lady say?
“Life is wine-derful and sweet.”
41. What did the counselor say?
Don’t complain, just wine and you will have all the peace you deserve.
42. I meditate as a way to calm my mind. Just kidding.
I am on my third glass of wine.
43. My neighbors say I am sober with a glass of wine on my hand.
44. The first thing I do in the morning is to sip wine to see if my taste buds are still working.
45. I enjoy a glass of wine every day for its health benefits.
Other glasses are for witty comebacks, crazy jokes, and flowless dance moves.
46. My wife asked for roses and I found myself at the wine shop!
47. I love my steps romantic, to the kitchen for my glass of wine.
48. A wine hangover?
Un-wine with a rose.
49. My resolution for this year is drinking wine and wine-ing.
50. If someone tells you it is too early for wine, unfriend them.
They are not helping.
51. I have an open-door policy.
Show up with some wine and the doors are open for you.
52. The first thing I ticked on my to-do list is: drinking wine.
53. I am surprised how 8 glasses of water sound impossible compared to 8 glasses of wine.
54. Wine doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean…against walls, tables, and ‘beautiful’ people.
55. Wine gets better with age.
I get better with wine.
56. How do you know when you have had enough wine?
When all the bottles are empty and on the floor.
57. How do you determine how much wine to drink?
You take it on a case-by-case basis.
58. They say I age like wine, perhaps the reason I am on my 20th glass today.
59. If you have to drink away your sorrows and hurts, it must be champagne or sparkling wine.
60. How do you get the best out of a wine bottle?
Open the bottle and let the wine breathe. If it doesn’t breathe, give it mouth to mouth. It will be fine.
61. The more wine I drink, the more I become enthusiastic and that makes me a wine enthusiast.
62. I drink a lot of wine because I don’t like to keep things bottled up.
63. I drink wine for wisdom.
No great story has ever started over a salad.
64. It is true, size matters.
No one wants a small glass of wine.
65. A good life is like a box of chocolates.
It is enjoyed with wine.
66. Adulting is hard. I deserve a glass of champagne.
67. Some people finish others’ sentences. I finish other people’s wines bottles.
68. I will have a glass of wine to celebrate the fact that I have more wine in my cellar.
69. I was saving my wine for the rainy day and I guess right now, it must be raining somewhere.
70. What happened to the loss-making winery?
The owner was pour at decision-making.
Wine jokes and puns.
