Guess what I found online today? The best guess what jokes ever!

And the best part is, they are fresh, funny, and entertaining; making them ideal for an evening family fan time.

If you are looking for good guess what jokes or guess who jokes, this article has the best entries for you to enjoy and have all the fun in the world alone, with friends and family members.

The jokes can also be shared online as jokes, captions, or sent as a message to someone, sharing the fun.

Guess What Jokes / Guess Who Jokes

1. My boyfriend broke up with me and I decided to steal his wheelchair. Guess what?

He came to me on his knees.

2. My girlfriend was telling me how good women are at multi-tasking. Guess what?

I asked her to shut up and sit down and she couldn’t do either. I guess she was wrong!

3. Guess what I learned from my past relationship?


4. Guess who came late for our trick or treat party?


5. If sex with three people is called threes… and with four people is called…

Guess why they call me handsome. Am the handjob guy.

6. Guess what you get at a coffee shop when you go in late?

A latte.

7. In the Swahili culture, there is a legend of a fish with no eye. Guess what they called it?


8. Guess where fingerlings learn to swim?

In their school.

9. I had a dream of an orange sea that was bottled up. Guess what?

It was just a fanta-sea.

10. I tried working on solving a problem about circles and guess what?

It was pointless.

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11. Has no life but still dies, guess who?

A battery.

12. Guess what I have right now?

Your attention.

13. It is always coming but never arrives at all. Can you guess what it is?


14. His brother won a local Scrabble tournament and guess what he was given in the end?

A re-word!

15. I suck at money and budgeting but guess what?

It’s Narnia business.

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16. The navy seals were approaching my front door and guess what?

I-ran suing a backdoor.

17. The big bird was trying to open the door using the wrong key but couldn’t, guess what?

He was using a tur-key.

18. Mr. Brown’s wife was mad at them, guess why. They called her mistress Brown and she wasn’t happy being called mistress.

19. He took an elevator while his little sister took the stairs and guess what?

They were raised the same!

20. Guess what? What is it?

I said guess…

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21. Guess what? I just learned that if two monkies share a premium amazon account, they are called primates.

22. In Alaska, there was a seated bear with no ear, guess what they called him?

A “B”.

23. A mentally unstable guy went to high-five a tree, guess what the tree did?

It left him hanging.

24. My girl dumped me for some dude we met at her best friend’s birthday party. I left with her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling.

25. I was treated as a failure throughout my life to the point I attempted suicide and guess what?

I failed!

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26. Guess what? What? Good guess.

27. I was tending the lawn and asked my son to grab a hoe and help along, guess what?

He had no shame hugging my legs!

28. You will never guess the surprise I have for your birthday?


29. While tending the garden, I asked my son to bring me the little hoe, guess what?

The lad came back with his younger sister!

30. Guess who jokes the most in here?

You have the answer!

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31. Guess what the kid said to the guy wearing a t-shirt,

“Sir, your head is sticking out of your shirt.”

32. The scientist who won a Nobel peace prize opened a departmental store. Guess what he called it?


33. Guess what monkeys eat in space?

Space bananas!

34. Our team won the summer rain dance competition, guess what we got?


35. Beyonce once had a pet tortoise, guess what his name was?


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36. A frog’s car was parked at the wrong spot this afternoon, guess what happened?

It was toad!

37. Guess who jokes the least in here?

You already have the answer!

38. Guess what I have right now?

Your ear!

39. My father said to me that he had finally caught something, guess what?

My attention.

40. We went out with our math tutor for lunch, guess what he ordered?

A Pi.

41. At the conference, the audience tried to pay but couldn’t, guess what?


42. I met with the Halal shop owner for a date, guess what?

He said, “nice to meat you.”

43. Guess what Santa calls his elves?

Subordinate Clauses.

44. Guess what music creatures in Mercury listen to?

Heavy metal.

45. I asked a chef in a Taco point about his past, guess what?

He doesn’t want to taco-about it.

46. I met some crazy lady in a Pizza joint who went straight to the point. Guess what she said? “Do you want a pizza me?”

That was a new experience for me.

47. Banana went to the doc for a check-up, guess what?

He wasn’t peeling well.

48. When warned against eating sweets, guess how the child responded,

“Can.dies sweets make me fat?”

49. Guess what Thor calls his underwear?


50. Guess why football stadiums are so cool.

Most seats have a fan on them.

51. The broom was late for their witches’ meeting, guess what it said?

Sorry I overswept!

52. Guess what game people in the jungle play?


53. The scarecrow got promoted last week, guess why?

He was outstanding.

54. Guess who won the very first no-bell prize?

The person who invented knock-knock jokes.

55. The geese fell down the stairs and guess what?

They ended up with goosebumps.

56. The girl asked why libraries are so strict, guess what answer the library assistant gave her?

They always go by the book.

57. I wanted to make an octopus laugh, guess what I did?

I used its ten-tickles.

58. My husband doesn’t like guess who jokes, guess what?

I had to let the ManGo.

59. A banana was indicted for a mistake he never committed and guess what, he decided to a-peel the verdict.

60. Guess what jokes are my favorite?

The funniest guess what jokes!