Do you like horses? How about your kids? How fascinated are they with horses, ponies, and fairytale unicorns?

Well, if the answer is yes, you are the right person for these hilarious horse jokes, puns, and one-liners.

They are clean, balanced and short for kids to understand with ease and make every horse jokes in this list count.

Good horse jokes and puns? Let’s get started.

Best horse Jokes

1. What do we call a horse that doesn’t buck, bite or bolt?

Stable horse.

2. Who do horses eat with their mouth open?

They are known to have bad s-table manners.

3. What happened to the sick equestrian owner?

He was horse-pitalised for flu.

4. What is black and white and looks like a horse?

A Zebra.

5. What happened to the kid whose pony passed away?

She cried all night long until her voice became horse!

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6. What do we call a mare that rarely sleeps at night?

A night mare.

7. How much can a stubborn horse be sold for?

A buck.

8. What is the special bread fed to horses in the ancient Mongol empire?

A thoroughbred.

9. Why do horses sneeze and cough during winter?

Because of the hay fever.

10. What would you eat if you’d like to win a horse race?

Fast food.

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11. Which street was reserved for horses in medieval times?

The main street.

12. What did the racing horse say after losing in the competition?

I fell and couldn’t giddyup fast enough.

13. What do we call a foal with a sore throat?

A little hoarse.

14. Why do horses fart when they buck?

The gas helps them have the full horse-power.

15. What is the most favorite sport among horses?

S-table tennis.

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16. Which US state were horses first bred on a large scale?


17. What did the mom say to the young horse?

It is pasture bedtime. You have to sleep now.

18. What did they tell the guy who kept on complaining?

Get off your high horse young man!

19. What did the bartender say to the horse?

Why the long face? Mind sharing?

20. Why was the pony scared?

He was scared of the nightmare.

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Horse Puns

21. A neigh-bor is a horse that lives with the family next door.

22. A stable is a very balanced horse in a horse race.

23. Are horses that stay awake all night long night-mares?

24. Are sherbets horses that win horse races?

25. Canter boyfriend pick her up? It’s almost late!

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26. Neigh, I beg to disagree with the committee’s findings.

27. I will be heading to Filly-delphia in search of my next horse.

28. It’s Stallion that invaded Ethiopia and not the French.

29. It can be very colt in Scandinavia during winter.

30. The pony chewed up the new horse pipe we bought the other day.

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31. It is already foal. You can allow your horses to play outside without them freezing.

32. Have you heard about the band Foals?

They have a colt following online.

33. What are horses’ favorite TV shows?

The neigh-bors TV series.

34. What do you get at the horse auction when you don’t have enough money?

A quarter horse.

35. What did the illiterate guy say at the horse stable?

Please, I cant write this horse.

36. What was her mother’s reaction?

What is wrong with mane these days!

37. What is the worst pony one can ever buy?

A shitland.

38. What snack do ponies love the most?

The Seabiscuit.

39. What did the girl say when asked to ride a warmblood horse?


40. You cannot foal me. I know the difference between a bombproof horse and one that bolts.

Horse Jokes One Liners

41. It is a fact that many are colt but only a few are chosen.

42. Cud you stop the bullsh#t, please.

43. That must be the ancient trojan hoarse I keep hearing about.

44. The electronic queen, aka the e-quine is about to drop the new album.

45. He rides the new mustang he acquired from a Texas auction.

Horse Captions

46. My new boyfriend. My main. My ride-or-die.

47. Don’t you dare look. I am a neigh-kid!

48. Hay there! It is nice to meet you.

49. My new mustang. My ride. My horse.

50. This crazy feeling colt love…

short horse jokes.