This article features a list of funny puns, bad puns, and jokes for you.

They are well-curated, well-optimized and straightforward for all the fun you need in your free time.

Looking for short clean and funny puns you can enjoy with kids in your free time?

We’ve got you covered. Enjoy this amazing list of funny puns and bad puns for you.

Funny Puns

1. Why was the little ant so confused?

All her uncles were ants.

2. I reached out for help but everyone was very high.

I got none.

3. Wondering why the ball was getting bigger and I was hit.

4. A lady at the bank asked if I could help check her balance.

I push her over and she fell hard.

5. How do bishops make holy water?

They boil the hell out of it.

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6. Why do museums display mummies in glass coffins?

So that the remains to be seen.

7. My network jammed. I renamed it “The Titanic” and it is syncing.

8. “To be frank, I think I have a split personality,” said Mr. Crusoe.

9. Remember to forget things that hurt you in the past. It is how healing happens.

10. Why is his sun high?

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11. I dreamt of myself swimming in a sea of orange juice; pure Fanta sea.

12. It’s only in the UK where blood banks are empty and Liverpool is full.

13. The photo ended up in prison because it was framed.

14. I am reading a book titled, “Anti-Gravity and the Laws of Physics” and I can’t put it down.

15. I said a few jokes to my unemployed friends but none of them worked.

16. I guess Mississippi is a wife to a hippie.

17. Should we get our vegetables in Kale-fornia?

18. How old is Newfoundland and Labrador?

19. The young geologist preferred dating young rock stars.

20. Calendar manufacturers across the country got warned for taking a day off.

Bad Puns

21. I noah a guy who can help recreate a prototype of an Ark.

22. The scientist said clones are people two.

23. I am bending the rules to see if I can break a few.

24. May-bee is a type of a be that changes its mind too often.

25. A no thank you to the people who invented the number zero.

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26. What do smart lawyers wear to court?


27. What was the cross-eyed class teacher unable to control?

His pupils.

28. She lost her lamp and she is very de-lighted.

29. His past, present, and future walked into the room together while he was seated at the front. The atmosphere was tense.

30. Which animal do park rangers trust the least?


31. Why don’t leopards hide?

They get spotted easily.

32. Is he a lion or a cheater?

33. I burnt 3,000 calories the other day and I swear to never leave the kitchen again when I have something in the oven.

34. There was a kidnapping in their school. The parents arrived on time and she was taken home so she could finish her sleep.

35. Microwaves washed up tiny sand particles up the tiny beach in the Caribbean.

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36. I have a friend with a name having all the letters in the alphabet except one and I know Y.

37. The books fell on the floor and I only have my shelf to blame for it.

38. Trying to enlighten a fool is a waist of time.

39. I bought it because it was a highly wreck-o-mended product on Amazon yet it was a fake!

40. My chandelier may not be the best but it is still up there compared to some of the top brands.

Funny Jokes

41. “Are you guys from France?”


42. Which country receives the highest investment and FDI in Europe?

Ireland because every year, it is Dublin.

43. When I die, please make sure to have my funeral early in the day.

I am a mourning person.

44. At what point is news considered old?

As soon as they are live.

45. What do we call a dead snowman?


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46. Rest in peace boiling water, you will be mist.

47. My fear of using going up the story building is escalating.

48. I thought of buying a book that would help me get over my phobia. But I fear it might not help.

49. In every supermarket in the world, dead batteries are given away free of charge.

50. The kid was scared of the mole hiding in a hole in the mall.

51. I took cornfield pictures and they were all grainy.

52. I licked some food coloring and I feel I dyed inside of me.

53. I asked if February can March because April May.

54. My geology classes rock like no other.

55. She rammed her new car onto the wall to see if Mercedes Bends.

56. She rushed her gown for repair but it came back late.

The Tailor wasn’t Swift enough with the repairs.

57. Is becoming a vegetarian a big missed steak?

58. New theories on speed never seem to gain momentum.

59. They made him swallow his please.

60. Why lie to an X-ray doctor while they can see through you?

Bad Jokes and Captions

61. What do we call a soldier fleeing the battlefield?

Sir Render.

62. What did the Romans use to cut their hair short?


63. Fairytales tend dragon and I don’t know why.

64. It will be an uplifting experience for humans to acquire abilities to fly like birds.

65. Asian children are known to have a photographic memory but their parents rarely develop it.

66. She was so glued to her new phone all day long and I guess because it is an eye phone.

67. Funny puns and bad puns said in German are the wurst.

68. My former lover misses me. But am happy her aim is improving.

69. How did Abraham in the Holy books make his coffee?

Hebrew it.

70. What happened to the guy who decided to sue the airline?

He lost his case.

Funny One-Liners

71. What type of nation is a carnation?

72. What did the drank guy say to his wife? Beer a good mother to our children.

73. Siri: Do you mean to order Peter from Peter’s hut?

74. Be gone! All I need for now is peas.

75. What do we call the best corn in the cornfield?

A pop star.