40 Funny Things to Say to Impress a Friend

40 Funny Things to Say to Impress a Friend

funny things to say photo of a lady smiling
Photo by Uriel Mont from Pexels

A funny persona comes with a smart, witty and charming impression.

If you want to stand above your peers and be the funniest warm and smart person around, you need to master a few funny things to say.

And in most of the occasions, you don’t need hundreds of them to make a point.

One well-said statement is enough to create a sense of humor and you end up being the person of the day.

In this article, we have come up with a few starters pack for you.

You can use these funny things to say as your conversation starter or text them with your special someone at any time.

In this Article:

Random Funny Things to Say to Make Someone Laugh

1. I am out of my mind right now. I’ll be back shortly.

2. I used to having an open mind but my brains keep shutting down.

3. The reason I still hate Algebra is that I look at my X and wonder Y?

4. Want to look young? Hang out around old people.

5. I am not a photographer, but I can picture us together.

6. I said NO to drugs but they just won’t listen.

7. You can take my advice because I am not using it right now.

8. Oh, it is not that I don’t trust you. I just feel lazy doing it right now.

9. I will help you out today but wait, which way did you come in?

10. Have you ever been to another planet? [No.] We have so much in common.

11. You must be in the wrong lane. Why is everything coming your way?

12. You will have to excuse my naivety. I was born at an early age.

13. God must be loving stupid people very much. He made so many of them.

14. If you want to look thin, make sure to hang out around fat people.

15. I love all the days of the week that end with the letter “y”.

16. Why focus on the good luck of an early bird and forget the misery of the worm?

17. Whatever is eating you from inside, it must be suffering so badly!

18. While in the queue, turn to the person behind you or in front of you and ask if they can help to hold your place as you use the restroom.

19. To the coworker: Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?

20. If we all share the same sun, how come other places are warmer while others are freezing cold?

21. Money can’t buy happiness? Perhaps you don’t know where to shop.

22. I lent someone some cash and never saw them again. Perhaps it was worth it.

23. East well, stay fit and die anyway. It is the way.

24. When a person asks what time it is, say yes, look at your watch, and walk away. Perhaps it’s time to walk away!

25. We all should get an archeologist for a spouse. The older you get, the more interesting you become to them.

26. I have a six pack … of biscuits of cos.

27. I fear my nipple is broken.

28. I don’t work out. I always get enough exercise pushing my luck every day.

29. We owe a Thomas Jefferson for not watching the television by the candlelight.

30. Does anyone need a vacation more than a person who came from one?

31. Don’t ever think you can change a human being unless they have become diapers.

32. When someone says, “have a nice day,” stare at them and ask, “is there a better alternative?”

33. Every time the cost of living goes up, chances of living go down!

34. Do you have an extra heart? Mine has just been stolen. Save a brother/sister.

35. Why are shorts not half the price of pants?

36. My teeth have been itchy for the past few days.

37. Buy a donut and start complaining why the hole in it is so small.

38. My hair hurts.

39. I bet you $50 you are going to turn me down.

40. Are you married? [Yes] But I never heard you say “happily”.

Funny things to say

The Smartbackyard