55 Best Military Jokes to Share with Friends in Uniform

Army Puns and Military Jokes photo

Are there jokes and puns for people serving and protecting our country and its borders?

Of cos there are.

In this article, we have come up with an ideal list of army puns and the best military jokes for you to enjoy and have fun.

It is grouped into the best army puns and military jokes, air force jokes, flirty army jokes, crazy marine puns, and are ideal for kids’ fun and for families with people serving in the forces.

List of the Best Army Puns and Military Jokes

1. What do we call a snail onboard the destroyer?

Snailer.

2. Where do rabbits learn to fly?

In the hare force.

3. What do soldiers use for writing?

Weapens.

4. What music genre do soldiers like to listen to?

Ruck and Roll.

5. What do we call a person run over by a tanker?

Crunchy.

6. Dad, while serving as a military officer, did you shoot anyone dead?

No son, they were all alive when I shot at them.

7. What is the baby born in a military airplane called?

An airborne baby.

8. At what point do most soldiers get to mix and mingle?

While a car-date.

9. What does the word ARMY stand for?

A Recruiter Mislead You.

10. What does USMC stand for?

The United States Mislead Children.

Next: 75 Best Dad Jokes

Funny Air Force Jokes

11. What do you call an army of young cows on horseback?

A Calfalry.

12. What is the top ranks in the popcorn army?

A kernel.

13. What is the favorite day in a year of an army officer?

March Fourth!

14. What type of wind do air force pilots love to fly in?

Typhoon.

15. Newspaper writers should feel comfortable joining the military.

They are already familiar with magazines.

16. General Knowledge is the only officer who is able to survive complex aerial maneuvers.

17. How do soldiers freshen their breath?

They use tic attack.

18. What TV station do air force soldiers watch?

LMTVs.

19. It must be a MAJOR day for my friend who got promoted from the rank of captain.

20. My friend complained that he never saw me at the camouflage party.

I replied, “Thank you, Sir.”

Next: 60+ Best Little Johnny Jokes

Flirty Army Jokes

21. All army personnel in uniform often look hotter.

Is it because they like to fire?

22. Real soldiers don’t like beating around the bush.

They always shoot at the point.

23. Where do soldiers get their desires fulfilled?

At the nearest boot.y camp

24. A soldier who falls while on duty is disgraced.

25. I got fired after the war because of a misunderstanding.

Instead of firing at the hole as per my major’s command, I fired at his hole.

26. Good snippers wink before firing for precision.

27. It is a safety precaution to wear gloves before going on a mission.

28. The strongest among all servicemen is the last person standing.

29. Most ladies love to date military men. Maybe because they are servicemen.

30. Excellent soldiers are those who know how to fire at the base.

Next: 75+ Best Knock Knock Jokes

Crazy Marine Puns

31. Where do the marines get such excellent officers?

At the General’s store.

32. I have asked for the lowest rank in the marines and apparently, no one is willing to talk.

It is private!

33. What happens when a serving marine officer goes to the enemy’s bar?

They get bombed.

34. Dad, have you ever been shot in the army?

No son, I was shot in the leggy most of the time.

35. Where do marines soldiers keep their shoes?

At the boot camp.

36. What name is given to a polite marine sergeant?

Sergeantleman.

37. If a soldier gives you a present, what do you say?

Tank you.

38. Brooms are good officers.

They do clean sweeps.

39. Do missionaries in war become legionaries?

I am not so sure.

40. Sometimes in the past, the US Marines thought of attacking Turkey.

Perhaps it was Thanksgiving Day.

Army Officer Jokes

41. Where do generals keep their armies?

Up in their sleeves

42. What name is given to a commander in Mcdonald’s army?

Patty officer

43. General Knowledge won all the army trivia questions since the start.

He is more knowledgeable in most things about life.

44. what do we call a high-ranking officer who doesn’t like recycling?

General waste

45. Which month do all military officers love the most?

March

46. Who makes the best use of toilets in the military?

Lootenants

47. Who is the greatest of all the soldiers on the battlefield?

The majors

48. Why do all army personnel wear uniforms in the battle?

To minimize casual tees.

49. Soldiers have always supported flames.

They all like supporting fire.

50. Soldiers who wear sleeveless clothes always defend their rights to bare arms.

It is what they must do.

Single Line Military Humor

51. I sent my baby to serve in the army and he put in the infantry regiment.

52. I recently joined a popcorn army and got promoted to a kernel right away.

53. I have made up my mind to form an elite force of babies. It will be my infantry.

54. The Soviet Union had a great army specialized in Marxmanship.

55. I have asked for the lowest rank in the military but no one

56. All electricians will make good soldiers. They already are great soldiers.

57. I saw American soldiers deployed in the city the other day. Perhaps oil has been discovered in there.

58. Snippers close one eye when shooting. If they close both, they won’t be able to see.

59. Chieftain used to be a rank and not a tank back in the days when I was serving the country.

60. Soldiers are very poor at writing and keeping their will. They always fire at will and leave no inheritance plan for their families.

Funny military jokes.

The Smartbackyard