75+ Clean Halloween Jokes, Puns and One-Liners

75+ Clean Halloween Jokes, Puns and One-Liners

Halloween Jokes, Puns Photo
Photo by Daisy Anderson from Pexels

Are having a Q and A trivia night, or a party for kids and are looking for clean Halloween jokes and puns?

You have come to the right place.

This article features the best Halloween jokes and puns that you can use for ultimate fun with your family and kids.

They are short and to the point for ease of understanding among kids and you can use them as captions on your social media graphics.

In this Article:

Halloween Jokes

1. Why do vampires read dailies? They heard they are in circulation.

2. What is a ghost’s favorite dessert? I-scream.

3. Where do ghosts go for their vacation? Mali-boo.

4. What is a ghost’s hobby? Haunting.

5. What is unique about mummies? They like staying under wraps.

6. What did the early ghost do for a living? Haunting and gathering.

7. Why do ghosts need to work out? To maintain their ghoulish shape.

8. Why did the ghost go to the restaurant? He went for the boo-s.

9. What do panda ghosts feed on? Bam-boo.

10. Which music do mummies listen to? W-Rap.

11. A vampire and snowman had their first child. It was frostbite.

12. What is the easiest way to get a blood sister? Donate blood to a girl in need.

13. How do vampires travel during Halloween? They use blood vessels.

14. What do you call when vampires bite everyone in the room and kill no one? A blood taste.

15. Why can’t you find skeletons in the graveyard at night? They don’t have the guts.

16. How do you know a vampire was in the bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly donuts.

17. Ghosts never see their parents since the day they were born. They are trans-parent.

18. How do you avoid ghosts? Stay in the living room.

19. Careful with winter Halloween. You can get frostbite!

20. Why did the headless horseman go for the interview? He wanted to get a-head in life.

21. Why are graveyards noisy at night? Because of all the coffin.

22. Why is it a human right violation to build a fence around a cemetery? Because people are dying to get in there.

23. How did Julius Ceasar meet his ghost? When he went for a campaign in Ghoul.

24. Who hosts a Halloween party? The gHOST.

25. Why did the witch go to the doctor? She was coffin!

26. What did the witch’s son say when asked about the doctor? Witchdoctor are you talking about?

27. The skeleton skull was lonely. All it wanted is somebody in its life.

28. Why didn’t the mummy have friends? She was too wrapped in herself.

29. Why don’t skeletons go for trick-or-treating? They have no-Body to go to.

30. What does the ghost of a mathematician love? Boo-lean.

31. Where do witches by their Halloween costumes? From the boo-tique.

32. Which social media platforms do witches use to haunt their victims? Face-boo-k.

33. What happened to her boyfriend? She was ghost-ed.

34. What do we call when a ghost is in a very bad situation? A grave situation.

35. What do witches do to sharpen their skills fit? They exorcise very often.

36. What is a vampire’s favorite beans? Human beans.

37. What did the ghosts tell their new unbelieving recruit? You are a ghost of your former self.

38. Where do ghosts take their babies during the day? To the day scare.

39. How do you know which witch is which? Put salt on the door and they will reveal their true self.

40. What is a vampire’s favorite blood taste? Vein-illa.

41. What do we call a prank during Halloween? A prank-einstein.

42. What fruit was grown in the ancient Goul? Boo-berries.

43. What soap do ghosts use on their hair? Sham-boo.

44. How do you get the circumference of a jack-o-lantern? Use a pumpkin pie formula.

45. Which subject are witches so good at? Spelling.

46. What chicken is favorite among ghosts? A poultry-geist.

47. What is a scarecrow’s favorite flavor? Straw-berry.

48. Where do ghosts go for their swimming lessons? Dead sea.

49. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? Using a pumpkin patch.

50. Who should you take to the Halloween party? Your ghoul-friend.

51. How are skeletons similar to the first child in a family? They are the first bones.

52. What happens to the ghosts lost in the fog? They are mist.

53. Which dog breed is favorite with Count Dracula? A Blood Hound.

54. Which fruit do bats love the most? Blood orange.

55. Which musical instrument do skeletons play? Trom-bone.

56. Why didn’t the skeletons go out at night? They had no-Body to accompany them.

57. What do we call a witch in the bikini along the beach? A sand-witch.

58. What did the hummingbird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!

59. Why do zombies hate themselves that much? They feel rotten inside.

60. Where do ghosts buy their things from? At the ghost-ery stores.

61. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Jack.

Jack who?

Jack-O-lantern.

62. Which animal teleports to the moon during Halloween? A werewolf.

63. Which day do witches perform their rituals during Halloween? Moon-day.

64. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Witch.

Witch who?

Witch one were you expecting?

65. What is a zombie’s diet made of? Brain food!

66. What type of test do you need to become a qualified vampire? A blood test.

67. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don’t worry. I never meant to scare you tonight.

68. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Count.

Count who?

Count your days are numbered if you don’t open this door brother.

69. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Bean.

Bean who?

Bean waiting for the candies all day long. What happened?

70. When is a black cat a sign of bad luck? When you are a rat.

71. Why are local cemeteries popular? People are dying to get in.

72. What type of eggs does Count Dracula hen lay? Deviled eggs.

73. What is the skeleton’s favorite song? Hello from the other side!

74. Where do vampires save their money for Halloween? In the blood bank!

75. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? There was noBody on the other side of the road.

More Jokes:

Christmas jokes

Easter jokes

Thanksgiving jokes

Valentine’s Day jokes

Halloween jokes

The Smartbackyard