100+ Funny Insults and Comebacks that Will Blow Your Mind

100+ Funny Insults and Comebacks that Will Blow Your Mind

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Normal humor can become too comon and basic and as result, lose its main goal: to make us laugh.

And such, bringing dark humor into the mix in form of funny insults, comebacks and clap backs can results in a different new level of fun.

In this article, we have hand-picked the best funny insults, roasts about looks, relationships clap backs and comebacks and teenagers roast just for you.

Let’s get started.

Note: While playing these funny insults, roasts and comebacks, remember to have good intentions and have fun.

Funny Insults and Comebacks for Friends

1. You don’t get my sarcasm? Perhaps I should move away from your dumb.

2. Just keep talking. Someday, you might say something intelligent.

3. Silence is the right answer for a fool.

4. Can you stop verbal diarrhea? You’ve said too much nonsense already.

5. Are you always this stupid or today is your special day?

6. Unattractive! Every time I am close to you, the desire to be alone doubles.

7. Did you say you fear success? But you have nothing to worry about.

8. These kids are scared of your face. Can you move away so that they can keep quiet?

9. If my looks were 50 percent similar to yours, I would have sued my parents.

10. You might develop a feeling that I am insulting you but I am not. I am only describing what I see.

11. Either brains or looks but I am struggling to find either in you.

12. Whatever is making you this stupid, just know it is working.

13. What I am about to say might be hard for you to understand. Allow me to understand it for you.

14. Is common sense really common? Why don’t I find any in you?

15. The sugar in this drink is enough to make candies for a school.

16. I talked to my therapist about you.

17. I can forget but not more than you can remember.

18. Anyway, being dumb is not a crime. You can go home.

19. Even ticks understand their host. I will give you not a single dollar from today going forward.

20. Have you ever heard of the saying, “think twice before you leap?” Don’t mind, I guess you never understood.

Good Roasts About Looks

21. Don’t worry about me. Worry about your make-up.

22. I would advise you to sue your father for looking like that.

23. You look better today. You deserve a medal.

24. I would have given you a nasty look but you already have one.

25. Don’t worry about me. Worry about your face.

26. I would have slapped you already but I would be in trouble with animals activists out there.

27. A face like yours will make onions cry.

28. You look pretty today. Not at all gross.

29. You are way old. Hasn’t your birth certificate expired yet?

30. Is there a worse insult than being compared to you?

31. Oh, you are not as bad as people say. You are worse!

32. Your looks are just fine but something should be done to your personality.

33. The one who told you are glowing is possibly lying or hitting on you. You are bathed in oil.

34. The last time I saw something like you, I flashed it.

35. The first day I met you, I had to check again if I was at the zoo.

36. Don’t worry about your shoes.

37. Would an elevator move if you were to carry anything other than your phone?

38. Wow! How do you make hair come out of your nostrils like that?

39. Wow! I never knew your kind exists.

40. If laughter is the best cure, your face on the TV will heal millions.

Crazy Relationship Insults

41. I feel sorry every time you open your mouth.

42. You bring joy to this house every time you go.

43. You deserve to be loved from afar.

44. Call back when you are ready to be an adult.

45. Picking my phone to call you is a waste of time.

46. People like you are the reason I am still on medication.

47. Bye, and I hope to see you never.

48. I can always tell when you are lying to me. It happens every time your lips move.

49. Being jealous is a disease, get well soon sister.

50. Don’t be bitter, just get better.

51. Some day, when you go far in life, make sure to stay there.

52. Even if you were married, with your personality, you will still be single and lonely.

53. I see myself returning your nose very soon. I am finding it all over my business.

54. Good souls attract bees and honey. But in your case, the best you can attract is flies and feces.

55. Do you realize we tolerate you?

56. Even rats pay their rent. You have overstayed your welcome.

57. I am still trying to imagine you with a personality. Isn’t that funny?

58. My bills at the psychiatrist are skyrocketing thanks to you.

59. The salt in this food is enough to melt a tongue.

60. Why does it sound like a you problem?

Kids and Teenagers Roasts

61. You look like you were drawn with my left hand.

62. Do I still have crayons to explain this to you?

63. And so you forgot your brains at home today as well.

64. Being around you makes me feel like I have Einstein’s IQ.

65. Do you think I am a nerd? I am just smarter than you.

66. You are trying so hard to be a smart ass when all we see is an ass.

67. Can your IQ score be anywhere close to a double-digit?

68. I never knew childhood ends at 40!

69. A secret: the first 30 years of childhood are the hardest.

70. Where did you get the joke? Forever 22??

71. Not today. At least wait for your day on April 1st.

72. How do you feel talking to smart people like us?

73. Do you mind wiping your mouth? I can still see traces of bullshit around it.

74. Excuse me, I think you mistake me for someone who gives a damn.

75. A thought came to your mind? It must be very lonely.

76. Were you born this stupid or you took some lessons?

77. People like you should come to this world with a disclaimer.

78. Hey, your hood called. They want all their idiots back.

79. You are proof human evolution can be rolled back.

80. Where were you born again? It must be on an accident scene.

Funny Comebacks and Clap Backs

81. Do I have the charge on my phone to be calling you?

82. Why didn’t he pull out that day? Look at the accident he brought us.

83. If there were pills back in the day, we would have avoided all these problems.

84. I knew it must be you. Stupidity follows you everywhere you go.

85. You are on your own on this. I don’t give hand to foolish decisions.

86. Your secrets are safe with me. I won’t even listen when you tell them to me.

87. Thank God the kids don’t look like me. Stupidity doesn’t run in the family where I came from.

88. I know I make bad choices in life but I think you are the worst of them all.

89. We are not going to appease an empty brain today too.

90. Some personalities should at least come with a disclaimer.

91. Cry baby, will you ever keep quiet?

92. Your eyebrows look like eagle’s wings. What did you do to them?

93. I am delinking toxicity from my life and you are the reason for that.

94. If we are to continue talking to each other, I might find myself in a mental hospital.

95. It is sometimes impossible to underestimate you.

96. 100 missed calls! Is it a call to glory?

97. A fool at your age remains a fool forever.

98. Are there no vaccines against stupidity yet?

99. If I had kids right now, I would purposefully forget them at school.

100. I have been called worse things by better men.

More Puns:

Cute puns for kids

Birthday puns

Math puns

Tree puns

Funny puns

Snow puns

Water puns

Funny insults, funny comebacks, funny clap backs

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