At the dinner table and are looking for ways to engage everyone as the meals are getting ready?
These fruit and vegetable puns are a great place to get started.
They are short and on to the point making them easy on kids’ brains and fun for adults.
We also made sure to include a few vegetable jokes, one-liners, and amazing vegetable-themed captions you can use on your Instagram page at any time.
Want more juicy fruits and vegetable puns? Let’s dive in.
Vegetable Puns and Jokes
1. How do you seal a slit tomato? Use a tomato paste.
2. Why did the tomatoes turn red? It peeped the salad dressing.
3. I moved from Texas to Kale-fornia last year.
4. What is Mitchelle’s favorite vegetable? Barak-oli.
5. Which vegetable never keeps secrets? The leek.
6. Which vegetable do chickens love to grow? Eggplant.
7. Which flowers are known to fold as soon as they are picked? Cauliflower.
8. What martial art technique are vegetables good at? The carrotee.
9. Which side of the banana is green? The outside.
10. What did one carrot say to the other? It is orange in here.
11. What were vegetables paid for their puns? Celery.
12. What did the casava say? I yam who I yam.
13. What do we call baby potatoes? Small fries.
14. What is the best day to eat potatoes? Fry-days.
15. What did the restaurant manager say? Lettuce increase his celery.
16. What is Uber driver’s favorite vegetables? Cab-bages.
17. When did the herbivore dinosaurs disappear? During the Cab-Age.
18. When was the oven invented? As-per-ragus, the oven was invented in the year 1901.
19. What type of gas is used for cooking vegetables? Aspara-gas.
20. What is the DJ’s favorite vegetable? The spin-ach.
21. He kales the shots. He is the boss here.
22. The trio is as salad as a rock! You can never get any info out of them.
23. His reputation was sullied by theft rumors flying around.
24. The company offered lower celery.
25. They almost made backbiting a herb-itual thing in this office.
26. The addict was transferred to the re-herb-ilitation center.
27. Lettuce keep calm and wait.
28. They lettuce into the mess we are in right now.
29. The experience at the spa was a-maize-ing.
30. He let his carrot in the yard for lack of insurance money.
31. She allowed nutrients to affect her decisions on what to wear and what shoes to buy.
32. These beat roots can’t taste any better.
33. Beetween you and me, who is prettier?
34. Was Pizza one of the disciples of Jesus?
35. Play with corn men and you will end up losing your money.
36. We all thought you are a country pumpkin! We were wrong.
37. Can you leek your lips?
38. You can kale later in the evening.
39. I always make sure to book a seat with enough legume. for my long legs.
40. Can you hear my heart beet?
Green Vegetable Puns
41. Lettuce be friends.
42. Lettuce pray for the food.
43. Michele Obama loved bracaoli.
45. He was a laughing stalk.
46. This is kale of duty.
47. There is a leek in the pipes.
48. Turnip early and don’t be late.
49. What vegetables do chickens grow? Eggplants.
50. Leaf us alone. We are green about vegetable puns!
51. You can avocado and drive yourself to the concert as opposed to renting one.
52. She is corn-traversial.
53. We have all bean there. It ain’t news for us.
54. Please turnip the music! I like the song.
55. Throw the Pizza box into the dust bean.
56. There isn’t mushroom in there. We may need a bigger space.
57. Black and wheat blend well for a sitting room décor.
58. What a s-wheat dream I had last night!
59. Did you pea on your pants?
60. We all need peas. We are tired of the drama.
61. I feel clean from my head tomatoes.
62. She is a famous You-tuber with a personal finance channel.
63. We thought he is the cereal killer on the news.
64. They were very green on the subject matter.
65. She always leaves without a trace.
66. They want to s-kale up the operations.
67. They all went bananas when the concert began.
68. Let’s dance to the beet of the music.
69. I yam who I yam.
70. Peas, be mine forever.
Knock knock Vegetable Jokes
71. Knock knock.
A-maize-d by how long you take to open this door.
72. Knock knock.
Lettuce in and you’ll know who we are.
73. Knock knock.
Bean long since we saw each other.
74. Knock knock.
Lentil you open this door, you will never know.
75. Knock knock.
Beet the hell out of you if you don’t open this door fast.