If you are looking for sweet Monday jokes for your Monday blues, this article has some of the best jokes for you.
We have made the jokes short and precise for you to enjoy with friends or family via text or in person.
Looking for good jokes to start your week with? Let’s get started.
Monday Jokes
What do you call a person who is happy for Mondays? Jobless.
What is a chemist’s favorite day? Moleday.
Why are Mondays and Tuesdays the best days of the week? Because the next days after Tuesday are WTF!
What is the most hated sound on Monday morning? The clock alarm.
Why do Saturdays and Sundays always win over all other days of the week? Because other days are weakdays.
How does cheese greet on Mondays? Gouda week ahead!
Why is it a bad idea to sell a chicken on Monday? It is eggshausting.
How did the cashew nut complain on a Monday morning? Monday drives me nuts!
Why didn’t the cat go to school on Monday? She wasn’t feline well.
What is the saddest time of the week? Monday mourning.
Where does Monday come before Saturday? In the dictionary.
What is large on Saturday and Sunday but small on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday? The letter S.
What is the most interesting Monday in the year for the working class? Easter Monday.
When is the best time to make robotic purchases? During the cyborg Monday.
On which day do wolves howl the most? Moan-day.
Why don’t skeletons laugh on Mondays? They don’t find Mondays humerous.
How did the corrupt calendar end up in prison? It was doing Monday laundering.
What are worse than Monday morning quarterbacks? Monday mornings.
What did the executioner say on a Monday morning? It is time to beheading to work.
Why didn’t the ghost leave school on Monday? He was the school spirit.
Things I don’t like these days: You, white coffee and Mondays!
It is all fun for every lady until Monday comes and you have to put on the bra again.
I always give 100% at my work: 30% on Tuesdays, 40% on Wednesdays, 20% on Thursdays, 3% on Fridays, and 7% on Mondays.
On the day Pluto took 2,435 hours to complete one rotation, it was on a Monday.
The shortest scary story is titled Monday.
If Monday was a song, it would be long and boring.
On the bright side, Mondays only come once every week.
On the bright side, Monday is not such a bad day given Sadder day was a few hours before then.
Diarrhea on Monday will run until Friday.
It seems God gave us Monday as a punishment for the things we did over the weekend.
We should introduce a day between Sunday and Monday to make the weekend longer and Mondays bearable.
Tuesday through Friday are good days. Monday is the only week link.
If days were given away as gifts, I would like to know the person I will gift my Mondays.
Imagine a rainy Friday is still way better than a sunny Monday!
Why did Selena Gomez dump the Weeknd on a Monday? She hoped the Weeknd lasted longer!
Why do people love Tuesdays? It is the best possible escape from a Monday.
Who can win a war between Sunday and Monday? Sunday. It is because Monday is a weakday.
One day on Mercury is 324 hours, the same as a Monday on earth.
My wife’s bras are labeled Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… and my vest January, February, March…
Why is Monday believed to be a lazy man? It comes too quickly!
What is worse than a Monday? The next Monday.
Knock knock. Who is there? Monday. Go away!
Mondays are such awful days to spend 1/7th of my life!
Knock knock. Who is there? Haymon. Heymon who? Hey Monday – I am already here.
